1. Once, I read a novel by a Nobel laureate. The protagonist was a poet, and I expected to read poems in the novel. There were titles of poems, but no poems. It made me think how the Nobel laureate would feel if he went to a restaurant and was given the menu but no meal.


2. When a lady is mature and mellow, she needs the company of a jolly good fellow.


3. When you have a vision, you are on a mission. If you wish to fulfil your mission, you need concentration and dedication. Perhaps that is all you need.


4. My chrysanthemum is covered in snow. It’s like a bride wearing her wedding dress and waiting for her groom.


5. I am one hundred per cent sure about it. My hands and tongue will always remember every inch of her body.


6. If you want to be a sensational snooker player, you need three Cs and three Ps. The three Cs are confidence, concentration and consistency. The three Ps are potting, position and passion.


7. That’s the beauty of snooker: when you get your maximum break, your opponent congratulates you before anyone else does.


8. My precious poet has expensive tastes, and his wine must be at least forty years old.


9. Breaking every rule and being a lonely hero is not an honour. After all, my desire still silently burns. The journey of my life never sets me free from my loneliness.


10. It’s fine. It took me a while to cope with it, but now I know that triumphs and tragedies are part of my daily life, I must take them as they come.


11. I play the piano but I am not a pianist. I write poems because I am a poet. 


12. After all, a company of two is bored. A company of three is bold. 


13. My life has become more unpredictable than the British weather.


14. Every society and community must have some unwritten laws.


15. Her beauty flows into my heart as the River Aras flows into the Caspian Sea.


16. I always enjoy the company of a beautiful and intellectual lady.


17. You must concentrate on what you want to achieve. Be positive, pleasant and practical please.


18. After all these years, you haven’t changed. You have the same young face and body. You are as desirable and delightful as ever.


19. When you were telling me about the KISS principle, you told me some variants of it, and your grandmother’s favourite was Keep It Strictly Swedish.


20. I know you are the best beauty of Blackheath. Is it all right if I also call her the same thing?


21. You are a Londoner and don’t know much about the beauties of London. May the Mayor of London forgive you!


22. You have healing hands. I have been dripping since you touched my body. It would be a crime not to make love to me tonight.


23. Her wonderfully well-balanced body and attitude would make all top models useless.


24. I was surprised that such an extremely beautiful lady hadn’t been taken away by the cyclone of city life.


25. I would say, ‘Let’s work together for peace and prosperity, dear President.


26. I didn’t know anything about the splitting bamboo position until last night. I felt I was out of this world.


27. I think it’s better if we have an orgasmic trip to the planet of pleasure before breakfast.


28. You’ve been a very naughty girl, cheating on your sleeping partner, the taxman. That isn’t fair, is it? Taxmen and taxwomen are our sleeping partners: they must have their shares of our income.


29. I can teach you all about taxation. Would you like to be my tax student, my dear English teacher?”


30. When our government practises income discrimination, the tax office collects less tax.


31. In theory, the desire of every government is to collect taxes fairly and spend taxes wisely. In practice, the faces of many governments are turned in the right direction, but their legs are turned in the wrong direction.


32. I think every modern government needs a four-year rotation of politicians, and a simplification and justification in taxation. Donations from individuals and corporations to political parties should not be above the personal allowance.


33. There is always some secrecy in tax affairs and sex affairs.


34. You were a super student. If you haven’t finished studying the dictionary by now, I’m sure you will finish it by the end of the decade.


35. I don’t understand those men in power. They are well educated and make the right decisions to run their organisations smoothly, but sometimes they do crazy things that schoolboys wouldn’t do.


36. My dear English teacher, of course you wouldn’t know about this. You are another ordinary voter in our wonderful society.


37. These days, people invest abroad too. It shouldn’t be a problem at all. For any kind of investment, the right information is very important. It is common sense.


38. My father has a parrot. His name is Mr One-Four-Seven. When I say, ‘Hello, Mr One-Four-Seven’ to him, he says, ‘Hello, Miss One-Four-Seven’ to me. He can recite your poem too.” MR ONE-FOUR-SEVEN My snooker-playing style is like a sensual storm. I play it with my right hand and left hand. It is soft and strong. It is short and long. The target is getting a maximum break. No interference and no wrong.


39. I haven’t celebrated my birthday for ten years. It’s unbelievable other people celebrate it and I don’t.”


40. It was magical and mysterious spending a night here. It was the best night I’ve ever had. I feel ten years younger today and just wish we could have done it ten years ago.


41. Of course she can join us. Sometimes a patient needs more than one doctor. I’m sure I’ll be your perfect patient and enjoy the company of the double-delight doctors.


42. We make jokes about sex, not about snooker and sensitive subjects. Snooker is a serious business for us.


43. The cheers of the men faded, and the atmosphere in the club became tense and tantalising. It looked like a lioness was amongst wolves. They all knew challenging her would be easy and defeating her difficult.


44. No, madam, it isn’t a joke. You pay one hundred pounds for the dinner and nine hundred pounds for the wine.


45. It may go in the right direction or in the wrong direction, but no matter what, I am ready and will enjoy it for the rest of my life.


46. You will be treated like a princess at the poet’s place. If you’re not completely satisfied, I will be your humble servant for the rest of my life.


47. We can talk all about the necessity of love and law in our society, and have intellectual intercourse and intellectual orgasms too.


48. In a relationship between a man and a woman, love is essential, and lust is complementary.


49. That’s the best arbitrage I have ever had. Whatever the result, my lips will touch your lips.


50. Sometimes I bet for my life. It is advisable for you to stay away from such ventures, though. When it is vital, it can be fatal too.


51. Like a flower, the daughter of the florist, she takes so much delight. Because nobody gives her flowers, But I do.


52. In the morning, after breakfast, I received my job description. I was her cook, cleaner, chauffeur, bookkeeper, caddy and lover.


53. Dear Sir, you are prejudiced. Don’t you see the colourful flowers in the garden of my heart? Are you blind? Are you colour blind? You never said so.


54. No man at that golf club, including my father, wanted to beat her at golf; nevertheless, they all wanted to be intimate with her. You were lucky to sleep with her. Your reality was their dream.


55. The story of everyone’s life is a book, if it is written. Tonight, I want to write allabout you, pages and pages.


56. Leaves were falling gracefully from ageing branches and recycling themselves happily.


57. I’m sorry, doctor. I was having a poet’s tragedy and couldn’t speak for a while.


58. If she has the combination of a beautiful body and a brilliant brain, she will be in charge all the time.


59. I know Lovistan means ‘the land of lovely people’. You must be the princess of that lovely land.


60. You’re a magician. I felt as if a sensual storm from Mount Olympus had taken me to Atlantis. I wish I could have a massage from you every day.


61. I’ve been missing you so much. I feel that you are my magician and my best medicine.


62. I’m very flattered. Are you trying to be the second flatterer after Shakespeare?


63. You are that sweet trouble. I dream of having you tonight like a Turkish delight.


64. I had an unusual experience tonight. I was so engaged with the beauty of her brain, and I forgot all about the beauty of her body.


65. I’ve been struggling to master one language and express myself as a poet.


66. We must keep one red rose on the dinner table and spread the petals of ninety-nine red roses over our bed on my birthday.


67. When you’re happy you cry, and when you’re sad you cry. Whenever you laugh or cry, your eyes become greener and greener. Perhaps all the politicians, preachers and people of our world will follow you. We will finally have a greener environment.


68. After an interesting journey, the two lovers are in their temple of happiness. There is no limit to their happiness, and all they want is for all lovers to be as happy as they are.


69. Flowers of friends, flowers of foes, All flowers are beautiful, aren’t they?


70. They all said, “Sir, without her Heaven would be Hell for you! Please go back to her. She has been longing for you!”


71. Imagination, inspiration and perspiration are the daily life of your poet.


72. I am full of love and wish everybody could be as happy as I am. My life has been a dream since I met you, Oya.


73. When lovers are in their temple of happiness, the night is always bright.


74. When you make love to me, you take me to the planet of love. I feel you come from there.


75. If I joined your opponent’s team, you would have a taste of defeat at your venue after all these years. Wouldn’t that be exciting, Mr Jamieson?


76. When I am with you, I always get excited. You take care of me like my beloved mother, talk with me about anything and everything like a true friend, and make love to me like a perfect lover. You are my everything, and I love you very much, my dearest Oya.


77. My dearest, all great philosophers and poets wish to have rightness, richness, loveand lust. I do too. Don’t you?


78. No loser, no winner; we are the players and the referees in this game of love.


79. My dear lady, every star in the sky has its own freedom and fire. Let me be your guiding star and make you a happy high-flyer.


80. There are two women in my life, you and my mother. You are my dream lady. My life has become a dream since I met you.


81. My beloved, I wish I could take you to the moon and make love to you, then the whole universe would know what good lovers we are.


82. You can achieve whatever you want to, if you focus on these three words: Manifestation, Concentration and Determination.


83. My dear Goldash, I like you very much. You are a nice and naive boy. I think you have many things to learn, not only about English literature.


84. When the top of a rose is squeezed gently, it looks like a love box. It’s very nice, isn’t it? As a gentleman, first you must learn how to treat ladies, as they are delicate like roses, and then you can enjoy them without having pain and problems.


85. It would be nice if you joined me and did your disappearing shot with your right hand and left hand. When I tell some people about you, they don’t believe you could do something like that.


86. Suddenly, I don’t know what to say. I always felt it was like a dream. It was my sweetest dream. Now my dream is over. I want to be alone for a while.


87. Under all circumstances, we must be strong and steady, my love.


88. I met Goldash when he came to the hospital for his stomach operation. I think he was sixteen at that time. He was a nice, naughty and naive boy who wanted to be breastfed by a nurse.


89. I met him in a bookshop about two years ago. He is twenty-seven now and still naughty. I think he wants breastfeeding by a doctor this time.


90. I see a boy with a broken briefcase has become a man with a broken heart.


91. You came into my life and gave me the pleasure of being a woman. From now on, I always want to be with you. That is my only desire. But wherever you go and whatever you do, God bless you, Mr Conqueror.


92. While you were tidying the garden, Leyla phoned me. She must be a daisy-crazy lady and lectured me about daisies.


93. That’s a good idea, always best to leave it to a professional.


94. I call the garden Leyla Garden. That is my dream place where nature can serve usand we can serve nature. We don’t need to do anything else there. We can have only pleasure and more pleasure.


95. Every language has its own rhythm and rhyme.


96. If you were pragmatic, not dogmatic, life would be much easier for you


97. True artists don’t compete with others; they always contribute something to art.


98. I like critics. They are wicked and wise. They advise me about anything and everything. Critics never send me an invoice.


99. Jolly good journalists are the best gossipers of our time.


100. I hear them but don’t understand them. It’s like birds singing. I wonder if birds are speaking when they sing to each other.


101. Love is the power of happiness. There is no love in a West End town, but lust is always around.


102. In my room, when I read my books, I feel hilarious and happy. When I look at the map of my region, I feel fresh and free. And when I think about my perfect lover, I feel wild and witty.


103. Pink, it is every man’s favourite colour!


104. I wish you the best of luck in your first business venture. You are excellent at making love and naive at making money, though.


105. The first rule in every business is to give the right price for the right item, productor service.


106. You must remember that the price of rare items always goes up, it never goes down.


107. I remember those November days and long for my two ladies. They are naked and play the music of the naked truth.


108. It is true that poets need rhythm and rhyme in their lives, as much as they need them in their poetry.


109. Follow me, my lady. We will go to the planet of pleasure together today.


110. Don’t think that you are getting old. You are always twenty-four carat gold. I know your heart is kind and sweet. You know I am an experienced goldsmith.


111. I listened to preachers of different religions. They all told me more or less the same thing about happiness, honesty, equality, high morality in a society, living in peace and knowing yourself. The golden rule must be the philosophy of every religion.


112. Elected dictators and unelected dictators, any kind of dictatorship is a carbuncle on democracy. Without the control of the Taxpayers Association, there wouldn’t be a proper democracy in any country.


113. Oya dedicated her life to her patients and people in her community. You dedicate your life to your profit and pleasure. That is the difference between you and Oya. How can you be loved as much as she is loved?


114. Perhaps I should stop trying to understand women. Perhaps I should love women More than ever these days.


115. Your mum is right. I’m calling from heaven, everybody has a mobile phone there these days. May I talk to your mum please?


116. Now I am no longer a master of living in pain. I am lucky enough to be an apprentice of living in pleasure.


117. I’m a doctor of transference as well. I can transfer one person’s skill to another person.


118. You are a genius, Lili. I haven’t heard this version of All Along the Watchtower before. I’m convinced Bob Dylan and Jimi Hendrix would like your version of the song too.


119. Your show is over. Now, I run the show. Would you keep quiet and follow my instructions please?


120. I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time. Now, show me your lovemaking skills on the snooker table, GG Boy.


121. My dear lady, I don’t know your next move. You are as unpredictable as a chess player. You always take me. I cannot move anywhere.


122. Marvellous! You can play the violin now. I want to hear Sensation of the Ocean.


123. I want to entertain you as a poet. You may forget having a millionaire’s treat or a billionaire’s treat, assume you are having a trillionaire’s treat today.


124. I was at the front of a big orchestra and played Sensation of the Moon. It was the sweetest music I had ever played.


125. One thousand red roses and one blue rose are waiting for us. You will be on the moon for the third time today.


126. Mountains, from a distance they look small. When you approach them, they look bigger and bigger. Politicians, from a distance they sound big. When you approach them, they sound smaller and smaller.


127. Poets, sometimes they are silent like a dormant volcano. Sometimes they explode like an active volcano. Silence wouldn’t be golden for poets. They should speak out and enlighten politicians.


128. Your daughter is extremely beautiful. I haven’t seen such a smiling face and long curly hair before. She is a rare jewel indeed.


129. When I learn French, I want to be a consultant to model agencies in Paris. So farthey have failed to recruit the most exotic and erotic girl in Paris.


130. Congratulations! You are a prosperous poet now. You must make the taxwoman happy as well.


131. They must be exhibited at different museums in different countries. Those beauties belong to the people of the world, not individuals.


132. Now, I have one question for all of you. Will you be my partners in peace and pleasure for life please?


Say hello

Any questions? Feel free
to contact